Shaming People Into Buying (NOT Evil)

AI will never shame you unless you explicitly ask it to.

Even then, it’ll still be overly polite and lackluster.

But humans sometimes need shame as a kick in the butt.

Your job as a creator isn’t just to provide information but also, if not more importantly, to drive people to actually act.

Shame can work wonders to light a fire under people who are stuck in a cycle of inaction. AI can’t do that so this is how you can win more trust among your subscribers.

Let’s explore how you can use shame in a way that helps your subscribers while also increasing your sales.

This Fitness Coach Uses Shame to Save Lives

In his fitness newsletter, kettlebell expert Geoff Neupert shares the following story:

We went to the beach a couple of weeks ago for a long overdue vacation.

In the mornings, my wife would go for a long walk on the beach.

I’d do the same in the afternoons.

One afternoon, I was about halfway through my outbound leg, when out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of an older, but thin woman, struggling to help her husband get up out of the surf zone.

He had literally fallen and could not get up. The water was running over his body and hitting him in the face.

She noticed she’d caught my attention, so she waved me over, beckoning for help.

This gentleman was in his mid-to-late 50s – maybe early 60s, a bit shorter than me, and about 40 to 50 pounds (19 to 23kg) heavier than me, with a decent sized belly.

He literally could not get himself up out of the surf zone, no matter how hard he tried.

And neither could his wife.

So, I went over and asked if they needed help. His wife said “yes,” and she and I each grabbed him by one of his arms and pulled him up.

The truth is, I did most of the pulling.

Fortunately, it was easy.

I checked to make sure he wasn’t dizzy and didn’t need more help, then went on my way.

Minutes later, I looked back over my shoulder, and he was down again.

This time he appeared to be OK and neither he nor his wife were waving for help.

I have determined to never be like that guy.

In fact, I think no self-respecting man should ever be that guy.

Determine to keep yourself healthy and strong so you’re not a burden to your family or society as a whole.

And especially so that you don’t put yourself and a loved one (like your wife) in a dangerous situation where one or both of you could be severely injured or even killed.

After the story, Geoff explains how to avoid such a painful fate and smoothly transitions into recommending one of his programs for men over 40 who are his core audience.

There’s no need to say “Buy my program or this will be you.” The story is sufficient. That powerful emotion of public shame hits you way harder than a cheap, immediate hard-sell call to action.

How to Make Shame Stick

Geoff sent this email over a year ago and that mental image is still deeply embedded into my mind. It’s so powerful because of three key elements:

1. It’s Public Humiliation

The man in the story experienced public humiliation, further intensifying the shame.

If nobody else sees it, you can hide it from the world, pretend everything is fine, and keep procrastinating.

But not in this case. It’s the embarrassing kind of helplessness that everyone sees. There’s no pretending anymore that everything is fine.

The crooked eye monster is out in the open and you can’t shove it back into that deep, dusty corner behind your wardrobe.

2. It Appeals to the Fear of Loss

Geoff’s core audience are dedicated fathers, husbands, and grandfathers. They aren’t as interested in showcasing ripped abs as much as they want to stay healthy, fit, and independent.

And one thing they absolutely don’t ever want to be is a burden to their family.

The story not only shows the consequences of inaction. It embodies the deep fear of (shameful) loss which is more motivating than the promise of improvement.

Forget the abs. What if you can’t even stand up?

In this case, the fear is even stronger because it’s related to a core value of his ideal customers (family and autonomy values).

3. Up the Stakes

The story dramatically increases the stakes.

It takes the pain of one person and expands it onto others.

Suddenly, it’s not just you who deals with the pain. Now it’s also your loved one.

And here we have the wife trying to help her husband, but failing and potentially risking her life, too.

Each of these elements further intensifies the shame, making it hit harder and harder.

How to Use Shame (Ethically) to Sell More

What are your subscribers secretly ashamed of? Tell a story that will make their shame resurface and urge them to take action.

Expose in painful detail the consequences of inaction, whether through your own personal story or a story of a customer.

Make it impossible to ignore: situate it in a public setting for a stronger emotional punch. If possible, elicit the fear of regression, and not just the fear of stagnation.

Describe how things won’t just stay the same. They’ll get worse… and so much worse it pains just to think about it.

Use that story in your welcome email to urge a new subscriber to immediately take action or send it in any regular broadcast to re-engage those sitting on the sidelines.

Here are some examples:

• As a communication coach, recount a story of getting mad at your partner in a shopping mall and the awkward shouting match you had in the produce aisle.
• As a self-defense creator, share how your follower failed to notice obvious signs of danger, ended up in a situation that threatened their family, and they could do nothing about it.
• As a personal finance expert, tell a story about how you fell victim to a scam and had to explain to your spouse why you won’t go on vacation anytime soon.

Each of these examples later leads into a potential solution addressing that specific problem (which could be just a regular free email or a transition into a paid offer).

Let me know how your readers responded to your public humiliation story. Or share it with me. I won’t judge.

Have an excellent day,

Martin

P.S. Have you noticed the part where Geoff puts in bold and underlines “I have determined to never be like that guy?”

That’s a perfect way to shift the story into the emotion he wants the reader to feel: resolve to do something about it (which is the perfect emotional state to present an offer).